Title: Meat Market
Author: bnomiko
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Yami + Seto
Spoilers: none
Warnings: swearing, sexual innuendo
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! is the creation of Kazuki Takahashi. This is a not-for-profit fanwork and I do not own any of these characters.
Summary: A sequel of sorts to "Remember to Eat Your Fruits and Veggies," except this time, Seto and Yami misbehave with… meat.
Status: 1 / 1
Archived at: http://www.phenixsol.com/Miko/FF/

This is a SHONEN-AI fic (male + male romantic relationship). If you are offended by homosexual relationships, please do not read this. Flames will be disregarded.

Setup for this fic:

* * *

Meat Market

* * *

Grocery shopping. It was a necessity, a fact of life. It was not something Seto considered fun.

But... the brunette had to admit, it could've been worse. A LOT worse. At least Yami usually took care of the task on his own. And when he did ask Seto to join him, it was usually very late at night, when the stores were devoid of other shoppers. That meant no fans, crazy or otherwise, asking for autographs or wanting advice on dueling strategies. That meant no long lines at the register, because Seto hated standing around and doing something as unproductive as waiting. And that meant no other cars in the lot, which would’ve forced Seto to drive around in circles until he found the perfect spot, all because he didn’t want his car doors to get dinged.

Yes, grocery shopping was just something that had to be done, something that Yami had managed to make as tolerable as possible. And tolerable, as previous noted, was not the same as fun.

Seto supposed that if he put up enough of a fuss, Yami would one day let him off the hook. But he liked spending time with his lover and his brothers, so if that meant he had to drive the three of them down to the local market and push around a shopping cart, he’d do it. Plus Yami was inconveniently short while he was conveniently tall, with conveniently long limbs to grab things off the top shelves, so it made sense for him to go along, at least until Mokuba grew taller. Well, taller than he already was. And – though Seto would never admit it, not even to himself – after so many shopping trips, he had just sorta gotten used to it.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t complain, though. Part of him enjoyed complaining. Yami probably already knew that. Yami probably also knew that it wasn’t even the grocery shopping that bothered Seto. He just used it as a convenient distraction from what was really on his mind, be it employee issues, server problems, corporate financial concerns...

But sometimes he’d have a little too much on his mind, and complain a little too much, and finally, after one too many snide comments…

Yami let out an exasperated sigh. "What now, Seto?"

"Don’t ‘What, Seto’ me. Just hurry up," the young CEO grumbled as his mind continued to try and work through a glitch on one of the rides at the soon to be opened KaibaLand America. He had *thought* he had worked through the problem months earlier – he knew he had given clear and concise instructions to the engineers on what to do – but they had apparently "lost" his instructions and gone on to fumblingly make matters worse. Did he have to go over there with a welding kit and do it himself? Was that what it would take?

Yami sighed again. He knew his lover was a very busy man. But it’d nice to have at least a modicum of his attention when they were spending time together. Luckily, Yami had been with Seto long enough to know what sorts of things he could do or say to perk Seto’s interest.

So he turned to his taller boyfriend and dryly asked, "Well then, do you prefer the little weenies or the big sausages?"

Seto blinked. He had only caught every third word or so. "Uh… what?"

The crimson-eyed teen held up both types of smoked pork products. "Do you prefer the little weenies," and he hefted the package of cocktail weenies, "or the bigger sausages?"

Seto continued to stare at him for a moment, then, as if suddenly realizing where they were and what Yami’s statement was implying, the corners of his mouth began twitching upward. "Bigger… is better."

"Ah. I figured you liked the *bigger* ones," Yami cooed, tossing the plastic wrapped sausage to a now smirking Seto, who quickly dumped it in the cart before stepping around it to confront Yami.

"Well, what’s the point in putting a little weenie in my mouth?"

"Little weenies don’t make your mouth happy?" Yami asked in a low voice, even as he continued considering purchasing a bag or two of cocktail weenies. They did make decent appetizers for Friday nights when Jounouichi and Honda were over and looking to stuff their faces. "Maybe if you put a quarter bag of them in your mouth at once… that’d be like taking a bite of the bigger one, no?"

"No. Then I’d just have a mouthful of chewed up tiny weenies," Seto retorted, dropping his voice as well so that Yami had step in closer to hear him.

Yami looked down at the package in his hand, then shrugged and tossed it into the shopping cart before adding another for good measure. "They’re good wrapped in bacon and glazed in brown sugar," Yami explained. "They’re mostly for Jou and Honda." Seto narrowed his eyes slightly, looking almost offended that his boyfriend would be offering other men his sausages. "Besides, length and girth isn’t normally something desirable in an appetizer."

"Hmph. Why bother with the small fry when I can sink my teeth into something thicker and juicier…"

"Juicy enough that the juices dribble down your chin when you put it in your mouth?" Yami purred, his face now just an inch or two away from Seto’s, his breath hot on the underside of Seto’s chin. He wrapped both arms around his lover’s waist, sliding his hands down into Seto’s back pockets and squeezing the denim clad buttocks underneath.

Startled by Yami’s suggestive maneuver, Seto furtively glanced around, but the market was deserted except for a skeleton crew disinterestedly stocking the shelves at the other end of the store. But still… weren’t they supposed to be grocery shopping or something? How’d they go from talking about sausages to doing… other things? "… Huh?"

"If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face," Yami breathed, licking his lips as he recited the catch phrase he had heard from a fast food commercial that seemed oddly appropriate for their conversation. Only HE wasn’t referring to a sloppy burger…

Seto swallowed hard. He’d heard that line before, but his brain could only conjure X rated images to go along with it. He stood stock still, breathing hard, trying to figure things out… until he caught the sparkle in Yami’s eye. Goddamn it all! How’d he always get wrangled into these situations? He wasn’t going to let Yami get away with teasing and molesting him in the middle of the meat department!

With a growl, he slapped his hands on the amused former Pharaoh’s ass, backed him up against the refrigerated display case, ground up against him until Yami was practically forced to stand on tiptoe, and snarled, "You think you found some big sausages? I’ll show you what a real piece of meat looks like! Open up and… and…"

Abruptly trailing off just as quickly as he began, Seto started looking around instead, his eyes as focused as an eagle’s, though he made no attempt back away from his lover either.

Puzzled, and perhaps a wee bit disappointed in the sudden change of mood, Yami made a questioning sound. Getting no response, he finally had to ask, "… Uh… is something wrong, Baby?"

"Don’t they usually conveniently pop in just about now?" Seto mumbled.


"Mokuba and Noa."

Still trapped between his boyfriend and a refrigerated spread of proteins, Yami could only peer down the length of the back aisle. "Where? I don’t see them. I don’t even hear them."

"They’ll pop in any second. They always do."

Yami quirked an eyebrow. "You sound paranoid."

"I do not! It’s just… they always show up. And then they’re all, ‘Eww, Seto, we’re in public!’" the young billionaire mimicked.

Yami took another look around. "But no one’s around. And we’re still dressed, aren’t we? So it’s not like we’re actually doing anything anyhow." And then he clenched his gluteal muscles and rocked his hips forward until a frustrated groan escaped from the brunette’s lips.

Seto looked down. They were both groping each other’s buttocks through their jeans. Their crotches were practically glued together. Yami was nearly sitting on his thighs. They were only NOT doing anything because a few layers of fabric were in the way. Heck, if his arousal continued to strain at his fly like it was currently doing, maybe it’d just tear right through the denim and then all hell would break loose!

"I thought you were opposed to doing things in public," Seto hissed, trying to hold on to whatever fraying sanity was left. "And don’t give me your ‘But we’re not doing anything’ bullshit."

"Well, I don’t have plans to do it on top of a pile of T-bones, rump roasts, and pork loins. Just think of this as… an appetizer. Like the cocktail weenies," Yami said cheerfully.

"Fuck your weenies!" Seto growled.

"Okay, now I’m scared to ask what’s for dinner in the coming week," Mokuba’s voice floated in. Seto rolled his eyes. Yup, right on schedule, as always. He was starting to think that the two teens deliberately stalked him, just waiting to catch him misbehaving, just so they could scold him.

"I told you we shouldn’t have left them alone. Turn your back on them for two minutes, and look what happens," Noa complained. The older Kaiba turned and glared at him, to no avail. "Oh, don’t let me discourage you. It’s like you’re not in the middle of a grocery store or anything."

"For your information, we weren’t doing anything," Seto lamely protested even as Yami’s hands gave his butt an extra squeeze and pat before disengaging themselves.

"Riiiight," Noa said, watching as Yami began trying to worm his way to freedom. Seto grunted, but still refused to pull away to make things easier on his boyfriend.

"Well, while you two continue *ahem* manhandling meat products, I think we’ll head on up to the register and then load up the car," Mokuba volunteered. "Assuming you're done here, I mean."

Seto tossed him the keys. "Oh, we'll be done all right. Isn't that right, Yami?"

Mokuba just gave a dramatic sigh as he took custody of the shopping cart and began walking away with a snickering Noa.

"Uh… okay! We’ll catch up in a moment!" Yami called after them. "Damn it, Baby… Move!"

"You want me to move?"

"Ye... That’s not the type of movement I’m talking about!"

Mokuba simply shook his head. He was just too damn used to the routine to have much of a reaction. Half the time, he and Noa ended up paying and taking the groceries to the car while the older couple screwed around and generally acted like lust struck bucks in rut, as if the supermarket were their natural environment and the aisles, their forest. But he had no real problem with it as long as they eventually made their way out under their own power…

The teens got to the register and paid for the groceries without further incident, thought Seto and Yami were still nowhere to be seen. But they said they’d catch up, and so Mokuba figured they’d just wait for them in the car.

The brothers were nearly to the automatic doors with their shopping cart when suddenly they heard a voice announce over the loudspeakers, "Uh… we need clean up in the meat department."

Clean up? Meat department? Uh oh… Mokuba tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. He could only imagine what sort of mischief Yami and Seto had gotten into. Actually, scratch that. He didn’t want to imagine anything. His mind was conjuring up some of the worst images…

"Don’t even say it," Noa chuckled as they headed out the exit. "I don’t want to know either."

* * *


Author’s Notes:

December 1, 2008